Top 5 tips on Selecting Your Divorce Mediator

Many divorce Mediators, me included, offer free telephone/video consultations.  How do you decide which Mediator is best for you and your spouse?  This is one of the first divorce decisions, a particularly important one, that you will need to make together.  During the consultation, make sure to ask these five key questions before you decide who to work with:

1.      What is your (Mediator’s) background/expertise?- Some mediators have therapy degrees, while others are attorneys.  If you want a mediator with legal expertise in family/divorce law, make sure you discern his/her background and experience.  Review the firm’s website, as it usually provides valuable background information about the mediator.

2.      What is your (Mediator’s) process, and does it include drafting Settlement Agreements, and filing the divorce paperwork?- Some Mediators do not do any Agreement drafting work and only take session notes or write memoranda summaries that are not legally binding.  If you want a mediator that can do everything from “A to Z” in your divorce process, this will eliminate some mediators from consideration.  Also, some mediators conduct sessions only in person in their offices, while others will meet clients online, on platforms such as Zoom.  If you prefer one over the other, you should ask where session meetings are held.

3.      What are the fees?-  Some mediators charge an hourly rate for all of their services while others charge a “flat fee.”  You may also find that some specific services are charged on an hourly rate while others are “flat fee” based. Hourly rates among mediators can vary dramatically in New York- with lower end rates at the $300’s per hour and some rates at the $800’s per hour rate or more! Ask for a “rough estimate” or likely range of what the total cost will be for the mediation process and for filing divorce papers after an Agreement has been executed (if you ultimately want to file for divorce.)  

4.      Is Mediation the Best Process for Us?- Some mediators are also collaborative attorneys as well as litigation attorney- and some only focus on one or two of these processes.  The mediator that you select should know the key differences among the processes and be able to articulate why mediation is the best process for your situation and goals.

5.      Can you send me a Retainer Agreement?- The mediation retainer agreement should clearly spell out your Mediator’s terms, conditions, process, and fees.  Make sure you fully understand what is included and excluded before you sign the retainer.